So happy to be one of 150,000

For those that haven't heard, the military is probably going to repeal the Don't Ask, Don't Tell , (DADT) policy. As part of the repeal process, they sent out anonymous questionnaires to approximately 400,000 service members to see how they would feel about serving with openly gay and lesbian members. They also sent out 150,000 questionnaires to spouses to get their view on things. I was delighted to be one of the spouses that got to make her opinion heard.

The questionnaire wasn't very long and focused exclusively how openly gay members of the military would impact me, as a spouse. I was asked questions like, "If your family lived in military housing and a gay family moved in next door, what would you do?" My multiple-choice options to answer were something along the lines of "Get to know them more than your straight neighbors" "Get to know them the same way you would any other neighbors" "Ignore them" or "Move". I was also asked if I would be more or less likely to participate in various family support groups and social events if I knew there were gay family members also participating.

The main reason I was so happy to be one of the 70,000 active duty spouses that got to answer the DADT survey is because I'm sure there are spouses answering the survey that thought, "There's no way I'm going to the command picnic if a gay member's family is there." I want the Department of Defense to know that for some of us, having openly gay members and their families as part of our military family is NO BIG DEAL. I believe the repeal is a positive thing - it allows for honesty in the military. People could be who they are without compromise, secrecy or fear.

I think it's horribly unfair and wrong that Zac can have a photo of me on his desk at work, but a gay sailor can't have a picture of him and his partner. Something like 6% of the American public volunteers to serve in the military. This means we are counting on a very few to do a lot of the heavy lifting that freedom and security requires. So if a young man or woman, who happens to be gay, wants to join and serve us I think we should all say simply, "Thank you for your service."

Note that nowhere in the survey was I asked if gay members should be allowed to serve. I was also not asked what impact their service would have on my spouse's work (which, of course would be pure speculation on my part). However, there was a section for comments at the end of the survey, which I used as my opportunity to share that I whole-heartedly disagreed with DADT and that I was glad that it was being repealed. They didn't ask me, but I decided to tell. It's about time everyone got that chance.