Grocery shopping, electricity bills and Halloween

Taking topics in reverse order:

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is a low-key affair for us this year. Because of the holiday's occurrence on Sunday, there were plenty of Halloween parties all around the island this weekend but Zac and I spent Friday evening watching Food Network and Saturday evening throwing darts in the garage. Some friends asked us to go down to Waikiki with them, but Waikiki is an absolute zoo for Halloween. Almost as bad (or maybe worse than) New Year's Eve. Not only do we object to Waikiki's $20 cover charges and $10 drinks, but Zac and I didn't take the time to come up with costumes which would probably be the only fun part of going out to a party or a bar. Maybe next year we'll come up with something and host a party of our own.

As far as passing out candy goes (don't hate me) but we're not doing it. We're hoping that if we turn off the lights and speak in hushed tones that the kids in the neighborhoods will think we're not at home. Because of the way Navy housing works, and who's entitled to what type of housing, everyone on our street has kids. (We got into this housing only because there was a shortage of housing for a sailor with a spouse and no kids. To get into our neighborhood you're usually supposed to have at least one child.) I don't mind living in a neighborhood full of kids. I just don't feel like partaking in passing out candy. I'm sure the trick-or-treaters will find plenty of sugary sweets to keep them happy without us. If the kids do ring our doorbell, they might find themselves getting a ziploc bad of steel-cut oats, some whole-grain pasta or the dreaded apple. Sorry kiddos - candy isn't something we keep on tap around here.

Speaking of turning the lights off and housing, a new electricity usage policy recently started for us. I'm thrilled. Up to this point people living in military housing out here on Oahu didn't have to pay for any utilities. The housing allowance that was given to service members living in housing covered the rent and all the electricity (and water). This meant that you could set your thermostat to 62 degrees, turn on all your lights and run hot water all day and you wouldn't incur any sort of cost.

Somewhere along the line the top Navy folks out here realized that the Navy is the number one consumer of energy on Oahu. Yes, the naval base was using a lot of electricity, but housing was using it like it was going out of style. The powers that be decided that something needed to be done. The company in charge of housing had already made some changes to try and be more energy-conscious. All of the housing built in the last couple of years have a couple of solar panels on the roof that are tied to the hot water heater and all of the light-bulbs that they supply to the houses are CFLs. But the Navy folks wanted the service members to take on more of the responsibility.

The new policy is fairly simple: Every month housing will calculate what the average energy usage is for houses that are about the same size. Then they'll create a buffer zone that extends 20% above and 20% below that average. If your energy usage falls in that buffer zone, you won't have to pay anything - just like it has always been. If you fall below the buffer zone you'll get a rebate of the amount you were below. If you fall above the buffer zone, you now have to pay for that extra energy use. Hooray!

Now personally I think that the 20% upper limit is too modest. I'd like to see them drop that to 15% or 10%, making more people responsible for paying for extra energy use. 20% is a pretty high bar. I'm a little amazed at how many people still exceed it even with that high barrier. For the next couple of months everyone in housing will be receiving "mock" bills to show us our usage. Starting January 1 the program goes into effect for real. I'm really hoping that this program will cause the people in housing to quit abusing the privilege of having our utilities (mostly) paid for and cause people to be more responsible.

Since I'm all riled up about energy consumption now, let me end on one quick other rant. I went to the grocery store yesterday and you know what I saw? Stacks of sugar, flour, chocolate chips, oil, Crisco, vanilla and assorted extracts, cinnamon by the bucket, every and all baking things I could ever want. I wanted to buy a cart-load and head home to bake up six different kinds of cookies, a few pies, a cake or two and whatever other November/December-type treats I could think of. I love to bake so much.

But I can't. Why? Because Zac and I can't eat all that sugary goodness by ourselves and we have no one to pass it off on! Arg! I suppose I could bake it all up and freeze it, but I've already got a cheesecake, three different kinds of cookies and two banana breads already in the freezer. I really don't want to eat the stuff, I just want to make it. I think I have a disorder of some sort. Anyhow, grocery shopping will be a painful experience for the next couple of months.

But the approaching holidays mean that butter will go on sale at least once. I am sooooooooooo looking forward to butter being on sale. (It's twice as much out here in Hawaii as it is in Minnesota.) *sigh* You can never have to much butter around, just in case you do need to bake something . . .

Leave, Cirque, and fertility

Zac got his leave request approved this week, which is nice considering we already paid for the plane tickets home. So to all of our Minnesota and Nebraska family and friends, we'll be in town visiting you sometime in the latter part of November or beginning of December. I'm looking forward to Zac getting to spend some time with my family, but more importantly I'm glad that he'll be able to get back to the farm for awhile. Zac hasn't been back home since September of 2008. We did get to see his folks and sister last year for Christmas, but that was in San Francisco. Zac needs to put on his old Wranglers and get out there and do some work. It's the best way for him to recharge his batteries.

Me? I'm not a whole heck of a lot of help on the farm. (Please try to hide your shock and surprise.) I generally tag along and try to not get in the way. Zac's father did let me drive the combine during wheat harvest a couple years ago for about 100 yards or so. I didn't crash the combine into a sinkhole, so I counted the outing as a success. It's always funny to me how Zac sees the remoteness of the farm as freeing and relaxing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my time out on the farm. I just tend to always have the thought, being miles from your closest neighbor or emergency services, and no cell phone reception: "In rural Nebraska, no one can hear you scream." (My apologies to "Alien".)

Zac and I went to see Cirque du Soleil's Allegria last week. We don't get many traveling shows out here in Hawaii, so when I saw that Cirque was coming to town I decided that Zac and I should go. Zac had never seen a Cirque performance before and he was a little bit skeptical when I suggested the idea to him but he relented. It turns out he enjoyed the performance quite a bit. (Certainly it helped that one of the routines was two female contortionists who made his eyes pop out of his head. I gently whispered to him, "I will never bend that way, so don't get your hopes up.") I enjoyed the show too. I always wonder how people think up the costuming and make-up that goes into the Cirque shows. The music was very good. And the performers, as usual, do things that make you gape in amazement. It was certainly a good way to spend a random Wednesday evening.

The only other interesting thing to note lately is my lack of getting pregnant. (I know a lot of you are curious and it's easier to blog about it than to repeat the story again and again in person.) I've been on fertility drugs for the last few months, but so far - nada. This month my doctor, who really is quite lovely, put me on a different drug than I've been on. Both drugs are designed to get my body to over-do the progesterone-thing, making me Fertile Myrtle. But, alas, it hasn't happened yet. There are days that this bothers me immensely and I get really, really frustrated. But then there are days I gratefully thank the universe that I don't have children, and I toast the fact that I can do whatever I want whenever I please.

Truthfully, it's this teeter-tottering between wanting to be a mom and not wanting to be a mom that is the most stressful part of all of this. I thought I was completely bonkers for feeling this way but I've been talking to a few of my female friends who are also in their early 30s that are having the exact same feelings. I think part of the drawback of waiting to have kids is that you realize how good life can be without them. If you start having kids at 20, 22, even 24, you haven't finished school, haven't established your career, heck, you probably don't even know who you are yet. If you're 24, can you truly realize what kind of a life you're giving up by having kids? And then you get to your 30s, you've got a career, friends, hobbies, pursuits, and you realize that life can be very full and satisfying without children.

I'm not trying to be down on parenting. Parenting is not just responsibility, obligation and constriction. I understand that you get a whole separate, different life of richness and fulfillment by being a parent. But it is true that when you have kids, your life is suddenly not yours anymore. And maybe I've just become too selfish over the years. Yes, there are rewards for being child-free and different rewards from being a parent. It's just a matter of trying to figure out what rewards I want more.

I love kids. I do. And I think I'd like to have one. But if I don't have kids, I don't think I'm going to be crushed. I will be sad, to a point, but it won't be the end of me. I've got three nephews, a niece and a host of other children in my life that I would enjoy spending time with and spoiling over my lifetime. So I'll do a couple more rounds of fertility drugs and see what happens. I'll let Fate figure this one out.

I'm an ombudsman

I interviewed for the position of ombudsman last year and didn't get the job. I wasn't surprised - I hadn't been an ombudsman before and I was still pretty new to the Navy. I figured that there would be a more qualified candidate that would get the position. But it was a good opportunity to put my name out there and make Zac's Captain aware of my willingness to help the command out. (It is a volunteer position.)

When the Captain let me know that I hadn't been selected for the position, he asked me if I'd be willing to attend the ombudsman training regardless, in case the position opened again. I jumped at the chance. Like when I took the COMPASS class, I figured more Navy information could only be a good thing. The ombudsman training was an intense week of evening classes where we learned about our responsibilities and other Navy topics. I left the class grateful for the info, but a little overwhelmed. It was hard to put all that information into context when I wasn't actually an ombudsman.

Fast forward about six months and I get an e-mail from the Captain asking me if I'd be interested in taking over as co-ombudsman. (The Captain had ended up hiring two ombudsman the first time around.) One of the ombudsman was leaving and he wanted me to take her place. I was flattered that he asked and accepted the position. The person I'm taking over for did a great job and my main focus right now is not to screw up the system she developed for getting information to people.

So what does an ombudsman do? (At least in the context of the Navy.) They're the point of contact between families and the command. It's a much more demanding role when you're the ombudsman for a ship, especially when the ship is underway. Your main job is to be an information kiosk, of sorts, for family members. My car broke down, where can I get it repaired? My kid is having trouble in school, are there tutoring programs? My husband beat me last night, is there someplace I can stay? When is the ship coming back? I'm having a hard time with my sailor being gone, who can I talk to? Are there any summer camps available for the kids? And so on and so on. I don't need to know the answers myself, I just need to know where to direct people to get the answers.

Like I said, it's a more involved position when you're assigned to a ship. Zac's command is a shore duty and it's mostly senior sailors. Usually when you've been in the Navy for 10+ years you have accumulated a pretty good idea of what resources are available to you. Also, the sailors are home to help out with issues when they come up. It's a whole other ballgame when you've got sailors that are 18-24 years old and they're underway for six months, leaving their families behind. In either case, being an ombudsman is a significant responsibility.

So while I'm feeling a little anxious at the outset, I'm excited at the challenge that I'm undertaking. Hopefully the Captain will like my performance and let me continue on until we leave ATG next year. And who knows, maybe I'll get the chance to be an ombudsman at one of Zac's next commands as well.

Khaki Ball 2010, housemates, and a general update of life around here

I've been Oahu-home for three weeks now. We had the Khaki Ball two weeks ago, which marked the end of another induction season. To be honest, I didn't have nearly as much fun this year as I did at the last three. Bernadette and Ken are gone and Claudia and her husband, while still on the island, took part in a separate Khaki Ball celebration for Claudia's husband's new ship. (That is, her husband doesn't work with Zac any more.) We did have a couple friends to sit with, but the whole night felt a little . . . off. That wasn't just our lack of social circle though - the whole event felt a little soul-less. I loved my dress, but that was probably the high point of my evening.

Zac and I had a housemate for the last month or so, "Grant". Grant is/was one of Zac's co-workers, and he left for his new duty station in San Diego a couple days ago. Grant's wife (another friend who wasn't at the Khaki Ball this year) headed out to San Diego last month to get a head-start on getting their new home set up and finding employment. Grant and his wife are also selling their house, so by staying with us he was able to have the house vacant and available for viewing at all times. While Grant's wife took their cats with her to SD, Grant kept their dog here so for four weeks we had three canines underfoot.

Grant and I are great friends. He's my token conservative friend, and I'm his token liberal buddy. We have great conversations that never devolve into yelling matches. We disagree, on a lot, but more often than not we're able to find a middle ground where we both agree. It was a lot of fun having Grant around, and we're going to miss him a lot now that he's gone. (Although I am happy to have my bathroom back.) He and Zac are really close as Grant has been one of Zac's primary mentors for the last two years. It will be an adjustment having him gone.

I applied for a job a couple of weeks ago that I really, really wanted. I didn't get it. I was a little crushed. Ok, maybe a little more than "a little". I was in a pretty good funk about it all week. I'm happy to continue my telecommuting back to Minnesota with my legal editing gig as long as it lasts, because 1.) it's income and 2.) it's allowed me all sort of flexibility, but I am ready to move on when the opportunity presents itself. I'm resigned to the fact now that I'm going to have to do some/a lot of pro bono work if I'm ever going to be considered for a job practicing. I just don't think my job skills are appealing to prospective employers.

So as a pick-me-up I'm going to go with Claudia to visit Bernadette in Washington later this week for a long weekend. Claudia will be taking a Space A flight for the first time. I'm kind of excited about that. When there are extra seats on military flights they sometimes open up those seats to service members and their families for free or inexpensive travel. There aren't usually any bells or whistles on these flights, but have you flied commercial lately? Let's just say the bar isn't high for my Space A experience to be a success in comparison.

Since I'm just tossing out random stuff that's going on lately, I've also been asked to be Zac's command's co-ombudman starting this next week. (I'll probably use another entry to talk about that responsibility.) That will be a new and interesting challenge. I am looking forward to the experience, but I'm a little anxious about it.

A collection of quick MN thoughts

Here are random things I thought about/observed/learned while I was home.

• Jeans and a sweatshirt/sweater is the most comfortable outfit a person can wear. Much more comfortable than tank tops and shorts. Yay cozy!
  
• I'm much more likely to wear makeup when it's not 80+ degrees because it doesn't melt off my face.
  
• Jasper is one of the world's slowest eaters. But that means you get to hold him longer, which isn't a chore. He's got that good-smelling-baby-scent-thing going for him.
  
• Lincoln is a great kid, 98% of the time. The other 2% of the time usually results from him missing his nap. And then you spend the second half of that no-nap day dreading what's coming down the pipe.
• I love the south eastern quadrant of Minneapolis best, because it's where I spend 90% of my time.
  
• East Lake Street makes me happy. So does the West River Road, the area around the airport and Ft. Snelling, 46th Street, 38th Street, Cedar Avenue, Chicago Avenue, the U of M campus and even a few pockets of St. Paul.
  
• I would like to have Minnehaha Creek and the Mississippi River imported to Hawaii so I can enjoy either running, walking or biking on the trails everyday.
• Where the Minnesota and Mississippi Rivers converge might be what heaven looks like.
• I enjoy seeing kids wearing their high school letterman jackets. I've never seen someone wear one in Hawaii. Although that's probably because it would be uncomfortable to wear a wool jacket with leather sleeves in a tropical climate.
  
• It was hard to drive past my Grandpa Clare's house and realize that it's not part of my family anymore. The current owner has put in some amazing flower beds and gardens. It looks beautiful, and it looks like she's taking really good care of the place. But I still cried.
• I could eat out every night in the Twin Cities and never run out of someplace yummy to eat.
• I'm concerned at the lack of Greek food available to me back in Hawaii.
• Lincoln knows more about trucks than many construction workers. It's amusing to watch him name things off with such enthusiasm. "It's a FRONT LOADER!"
• My parent's house is just about the right size for about 6-8 adults and four kids. It feels much smaller when there are almost a dozen adults and five kids. If I bring Zac (and potentially someday a kid of our own) the house may very well explode. I am currently advocating a plan to annex the neighbors house, potentially by force if need be.
• As much as I miss many of the elm trees in the neighborhood, the maples really do provide some amazing colors in the fall. I'm very glad they're just starting to turn, so I could get my "fall" fix before heading back to my eternal summer home.
• Target Field is an exceptional ballpark, and I got to see an exceptional home run hit there. (Thome's dinger off the flag poll.) Even in the rain, it was one of the highlights of my Minnesota sporting experiences.
• Though I am not a mallrat, I enjoy having many, many malls at my disposal in the Twin City area.
• Lincoln's head must be made of kevlar.
• It's hard to see your grandparents' capacities diminish. I think it becomes more noticeable when you don't see them regularly.
• I was surprised at how few cashiers/waitresses had seen a military ID before. I guess that's because Minnesota has no active duty military installation.
• I am increasingly sentimental.
• Dairy Queen is delicious. If we have one every two miles in Minneapolis, where at least a quarter of the year is not ice-cream friendly, why on earth do we not have more than a couple of them in Hawaii where it is eternally summer?
• I like that my MN accent comes back when I'm home. I wish it was easier to hang on to when I'm not there.
• Rooting for the Gopher football team is tough. Really, really tough. But yet I can't not.
• I wish Zac and my family could spend more time together.
  
• I love houses built before WWII. Even though the floors might creak and they aren't wired for lots of outlets and things might not be totally square, they make up for it in character.
• I like power tools and wish I had more projects to work on around the house. I was particularly happy to play with my dad's new table saw and compressed air nail gun this time around.
• Minneapolis really is one of the most bike-friendly places in the U.S. and should be damn proud of it.
• Either I'm getting old or I have no fashion sense (and quite probably both) but a lot of the clothes out there for teenage girls are utterly ridiculous. I will enjoy 15-20 years from now when they cringe as they look at their old high school pictures. There is a price to pay for being too trendy, young ladies.
• I'm beginning to think that the 35W/62 interchange might not ever be completed. I find it odd that they've been working on it longer than I've been married.
• Listening to the rain is the best way to fall asleep.
• Even though I'm not a huge fan of the guys calling the games, I loved listening to Twins baseball on the radio. And I love Hardware Hank commercials.
• Minnesota has an abundance of riches when it comes to locally produced beer.
• My friends are really remarkable people. I admire so many attributes of each of them.
  
• I will always cry when I leave my family. And that's ok.
  

Friends, the Fair, Food

I really want to have a blog entry where all it contains is a list of short things I like/love/miss/note about Minnesota. As I've been spending time here something will come to mind and I'll think, "I'll need to remember that for the list," and then I will promptly forget it. I need a notepad to carry around with me for the last week I'm here. Hopefully I'll recall some of those ideas that have evaporated.

I've had a great trip so far. I've managed to see a number of friends without feeling like I'm over-scheduled. My friends are terrific. Really, truly great people. Facebook and text messages and phone calls are nice, but face-to-face time can't be beat.

My feet are nice and swollen right now from seven hours at the Minnesota State Fair. One of Paul's good friends from the Port Royal, and his friend's wife, came up to visit Megan and Paul for the Labor Day weekend. Since I'm the fifth wheel of sorts, I've been spending some time with them as well. Today we introduced them to the Great Minnesota Get Together. I love the Fair. It makes me happy. Some people complain that it's always the same, year after year, but that's my argument in favor of it. Consistency. With the only exceptions being a few new food items or a couple new displays, the Fair is the same experience every year. Every year it marks the end of summer (probably more so than even Labor Day for a lot of people) and the beginning of fall. I love the noises, the smells, the general chaos of moving through the people-clogged streets. And doggone it, piglets and other baby animals are always cute and must be cooed over.

I ate more food than I should have today, but I didn't feel like throwing up at any point so I'm counting the day as a sort of victory. I'll be glad to go run some of it off tomorrow morning. (One of the few times you might hear me say I'm "glad" to run.) Paul's friend's wife wants to run with me but I'm not sure I want to run with her. She runs a 9:30-10:00 minute mile. Let's just say, I do not. I am a slow moving object. Especially now that I'm running outside with inclines, declines and a headwind. I'm surprised that casual walkers don't blow past me. But regardless of my pace, it will help in some small way to erase the damage that the Fair did today.

Home, the Dome

My flights to Minneapolis took me from Honolulu to Phoenix (about six hours) and from Phoenix to Minneapolis (a little more than three). Throw in a two and a half hour lay over and five time zone changes and my body is still a little "off" from traveling. No matter. I'm back in Minnesota and plan on making the most of my time here. (Even if "making the most of my time" this afternoon involved a two hour nap.)

The flights were relatively uneventful. Pretty much sleep-a-thons. I did wake up with about 45 left until we landed in MSP. I could see all the farms out the window - the geographical squareness of plots and flatness of southern Minnesota. And then, after a few minutes and a hundred miles, I spotted more and more lakes, and the number of trees increased. Being that I grew up 15-20 minutes from the MSP airport in South Minneapolis, I tried guessing which route we were coming in on and which runway I was going to land on. Over the rivers and Hwy 5? No, not this time. I ended up on one that passes over Cedar/77 by the new(ish) Target and Home Depot. Yes, I'm such a Minnesotan that it's even important for me to know which route the plane took to land.

After I got my bags, Paul and Megan picked me up and we met my folks for an Ayers family tradition - post-flight pie at Bakers Square in Highland Park. (Do you know good it feels to let things like Highway 5, Bakers Square and Highland Park roll off my fingers?) I finally got to meet my newest nephew, Jasper. He's quite the little peanut. I'll provide my final assessment of him at the end of the two weeks, but his initial impression was positive. I think he'll make the cut and get added to the Dramatis Personae soon.

Because I'm here for three weekends and two of the other weekends are already planned, we ended up deciding to go to the Dome (the family cabin shaped like a geodesic dome) this first weekend. Dad, Megan, Lincoln, Jasper and I all headed up to the Dome on Friday evening, while Mom, Paul and the two dogs came up Saturday morning. I love the Dome so very much. I do not love mosquitoes, however, and this weekend they were not just pesky but plentiful. I have the welts to prove it. I can safely say that skeeters are the only thing I DON'T miss about MN.

The first night of sleeping was rough. (I don't sleep well on a good day, granted.) My internal clock was off and I couldn't fall asleep. Plus, my sister is breastfeeding Jasper, so she woke up at midnight, four and seven to feed him. The thing about the Dome is that everyone sleeps upstairs in the loft - there are no separate rooms. So when Jasper would start to fuss and Megan would wake up to feed him, I had already been "awoken" 10 minutes prior by Jasper's stirring. Which is to say, I had been roused from my drifting in and out of conscientiousness because I couldn't ever properly fall asleep. I got up the next morning feeling like a battery that had failed to be charged properly.

My lack of energy failed to stop me from helping mow the yard and play baseball with Lincoln. There was swinging on the tire swing and lounging on the deck, listening to the Twins play Seattle. There was construction of Lincoln-sized ladders and stacking logs that Dad has chainsawed up into firewood. We grilled burgers and I even went for a run around the 1.5 road that our cabin sits on. I figure I'm going to be eating a lot this trip - food is love, right? - and I need to make sure I don't abandon my exercise routine. I mean, c'mon. My family has things like post-flight pie for Pete's sake. Running will be necessary. I also figured that if I wore myself out by jogging while tired I would sleep better Saturday night.

After the kids went to bed, more traditions - playing Oh Hell and some cribbage. Finally it was time for bed, and while I still didn't sleep great I did sleep better, due to some drastic decisions by me. That particular story can stay exclusively with the family and in the annals of Dome lore. Today we headed back into town because it is HOT here. Hotter than Hawaii. And hot at the Dome isn't too much fun. But I feel that I got an adequate cabin fix and that I can leave here content with the time I did get to spend there.

Now it's on to planning time with friends and family. Let the great coordination of hanging out begin!