More waiting, visitors, and hating HP printers

I'll get the cliff hanger out of the way first - yes, Zac put in for some orders. I'm not going to disclose anything about the details of those orders until we hear if he got them. That should be in a couple of weeks. So for now, we wait some more.

We in the throws of hosting our first visitors of the spring. Zac's brother, his brother's wife and their son arrived late last week and will be leaving later this week. So far we've had a terrific time with them. It has been a lot of fun showing Hawaii to our almost four-year-old nephew. We've spent a lot of time outside and my freckles are out of control right now. I've actually been to the beach three days in a row, which I'm pretty sure is a record for me. Today they're taking a day trip over to Maui to see the whales so I have a chance to catch up on some work and relax a little. Having guests is always fun, but it is tiring. I think all five of us will need a nice, calm weekend to rest up from all the excitement.

We'll be hosting Zac's cousin and his wife in a couple of weeks, plus I just got flight confirmation for Megan and Paul for a few days after Zac's cousin leaves. So it's going to be a busy first half of March to be sure. But we're looking forward to spending time with everyone. And it is nice to actually get some use out of all those swimsuits that I've accumulated since moving here. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them when we move, as the odds are high that we won't be moving somewhere tropical again. I'm sure they'll just sit there in a drawer, taunting me with memories of where we once lived.

Having the day to myself also allowed me some time to get my printer situation straightened out. You know how some things should be really easy? Buying and setting up a printer for your home use should be one of those things. Browse the ads a little, find one you like, buy it when you find it on sale, plug it in and GO. Alas, that has not been my experience with this latest printer. At this point I have no choice but to continue to invest time into getting this mess straightened out, but if anything in my life was ever going to drive me to drink, it may very well be this stupid printer.

I had been thinking about getting a new printer for awhile. I wanted something that had fax capabilities as it seems like 4-6 times a year I need to fax something and I scramble to find access to one. Also, I wanted one that was wireless as I got tired of having to take my laptop upstairs to plug it into the printer every time I wanted to print something out. (I guess you could just read that as me becoming increasingly lazy.) I found a HP printer that met the criteria and I purchased it when I saw it on sale a few months ago. I didn't set it up right away because I was waiting for the ink cartridges to run out on my old printer. That was a big mistake.

So 4-5 months go by and I decide that it's time to hook up the new printer. Still in its box and everything. I open it up, plug in all the appropriate things and put some paper into it. Turn it on and the paper jams. Ok. Clear the jam. Try again. Paper jam. Clear it. Paper jam. I checked to make sure that everything looked okay inside of it. I checked the installation instructions again. I went online to HP's support sight and followed their troubleshooting chart. Every time - paper jam. I was getting really, really irritated.

I decided to look at my receipt to see what my recourse might be with the retailer. Wait a second. Where is the receipt? I couldn't find it. I looked in my file cabinet (where I have a folder aptly named "computer" where I keep all my computer-related papers) and it wasn't there. It wasn't with the box. It wasn't anywhere. I went to the retailers website where they have a function of being able to look up receipts if you know the credit card number it was purchased with, the approximate date, the approximate amount and what state you bought it in. I couldn't remember when I purchased it, and I only had a vague idea of how much it was. I went through re-entering the information for each month with different amounts and got no results. Great. Now I have a printer that doesn't work and no evidence that I purchased it.

My next step was to pour through my bank statements, Zac's bank statement and the credit card statements for the last six months to see when it was purchased and for how much. (Because of course I couldn't remember if it was on my debit card, his debit card or our credit card.) I didn't see it. My blood pressure was rising. I know I didn't pay cash for the darn thing, but those are the only three plastic options that it could have been purchased with. I decided I needed to let it go for a couple of days so I could think more clearly. By this point I wanted to chuck the printer out the back second-story window.

A couple days later I looked at the bank statements again. I found the date and amount, which I must have simply overlooked the first time. I punched the info into the retailer's website and got a copy of my receipt. Ok, things were starting to look up. I called the HP 1-800 number for technical assistance and the nice lady tried everything in her troubleshooting power to help me but none of her tricks got the printer to not jam. (I was turning into Pavlov's dog with the sound of the jam and the beep indicating the error. The printer would make that sound and I'd clench my jaw and have to count to five to keep from cursing.) Because I could prove that I had bought the printer within the year it was under warranty and they would sent me a replacement. Ok, fine. Great.

So after sending the proof of purchase to HP I received a replacement printer in the mail about five days later. Color me impressed with the speed of getting it here. I un-boxed it today and followed the instructions to set it up. I press power, and?

"Printhead missing"

Wha? Um, no. There is a printhead in there. I know this because the picture shows me what the printhead is, I held it in my hand, and I placed it in the appropriate location inside the printer. It is by no means "missing". I took it out, the dread creeping up in me, and tried again. Printhead missing. Power it down. Try again. Printhead missing. I didn't waste time going to HP's website again. I called them straight away. At this point I have devoted numerous hours over multiple days trying to get the first new printer to work and now I can't get the second new printer to work either. I got a HP person on the phone who pulled up my service number. Again, she was lovely and tried her darndest to fix the situation. After eight or nine different attempts she conceded victory. I contemplated tossing both printers out the second-story window to see if they flew identical distances as they were both ineffective.

The HP lady said she'd send me a new printerhead which should arrive in a couple of weeks. Then I am to install that one. If it doesn't work (insert drained, crazed laugh here) I am to call them back for more assistance. Tonight I have to drive over to the FedEx store and drop off the first new printer so it can be sent back to HP for . . . I don't know what. Organ harvesting?

I guess the moral of this story is, if you buy a printer, test it out immediately whether you intend on using it right away or not. If I had done that I could have simply brought it back to Office Max and kept swapping it out until I got one that works. The ease of that alternate reality makes me want to go mildly nuts. So I guess I'll sit here and wait for the new printhead. Because waiting is what we do around here.