Feeling normal-ish

17-ish weeks . . .

I'm about 17 weeks along now, and I haven't had any morning sickness yet.  My OB says that I'm probably in the clear as far as that goes, but he cautioned me that sometimes his patients that don't experience negative side effects during the first trimester get "pregnant" in the third trimester.  [His emphasis.]  I'll cross that bridge when/if I get to it.  Right now I feel . . . normal.  Well, normal-ish.  I'm tired more than usual, but I'm a girl who has always loved her naps and sleeping 8 hours a night, so I'm not really sleeping any more than I did before.  I still have a relatively normal appetite.  There are occasionally days where I'm feel like I'm not that hungry and have to remind myself to eat lunch or supper, only to discover after one bite that I'm famished and devour the whole meal.  The other day I ate an entire half-pound hamburger, plus some of the fries.  Zac looked on with bemused horror.

My body is starting to change, some.  I'm starting to show, if you know what I looked like before.  If you were just meeting me for the first time you'd probably think I just like Dairy Queen too much.  (For the record, yes, I do like Dairy Queen too much.)  I've had to start wearing jeans that are one size larger and I've basically sworn off close-fitting tops for a while.  Once I look "pregnant" I think I'll be more comfortable wearing things that accentuate my belly.  Right now I just feel obnoxiously bloated and chubby.

I took the first couple of months of the pregnancy off from strenuous exercise.  I went on walks and attended some yoga classes, but I kept it pretty low-key until we got to 12 weeks and my OB said that things looked good.  I've started back up with the strength training and a little more intense yoga classes in the last few weeks and I do feel better, more like me, since I'm exercising again. My yoga instructors and trainer know that I'm pregnant and modify my workouts accordingly. It is a strange feeling, though - I exercise, eat right, get plenty of sleep and instead of losing weight I'm gaining it.  As I exercise I am finding that my balance (which wasn't stellar to begin with) isn't as good as it used to be.  I'm assuming this will get increasingly worse as I start to look like a small planetoid.

Our next appointment is in a week, when we meet with a genetic counselor.  My OB offered to refer me strictly based on my age.  He said that he had no other concerns about my family history to warrant a referral, but that if I wanted it he would sign off on it. Zac and I want to know.  We understand that there is no 100% certainty with any of these tests, and we also know that many conditions are not screened for, but if there is something wrong, serious or relatively benign, we want to know.  Certainly the future of this pregnancy is dependent on what we learn.  (Since it has been in the news lately, I've been thinking how maddening it would be if Zac and I were stationed in Texas and learned that the baby wouldn't make it to term, or die within a few hours of birth at that genetic counseling appointment.  If we wanted to choose to end the pregnancy we would be very close to not being able to due to Texas' 20 week rule.  The thought of the state telling me what my husband and I can and can't do for our family is absurd and insulting.)

Once we get past the genetic counseling appointment I feel like I will be able celebrate this pregnancy a little bit more.  I haven't mentioned the pregnancy on social media yet, and I'm pleased that the people that I have shared the news with have shown great restraint in not mentioning it on those platforms either.  There are people I simply haven't told, just to limit the number of people I have to un-tell in case things don't turn out well.  I've even postponed posting these first few blog entries that address being pregnant, waiting for that time that I feel comfortable that most of the hurdles have been cleared.  I am cautiously optimistic that that time will be soon.