Halfway

Week 20-ish, a few weeks ago

It's hot in San Diego.  Too hot.  We're in the middle of a late-summer heat wave that is taking its toll on my desire to do anything but watch the US Open tennis tournament from the air conditioned confines of my living room.  (I do work while watching tennis, so it's not totally wasted time.)  The weather gods must have a copy of our calendar, and a sense of humor, since they waited until the day my parents arrived to unleash their blast furnace of horror.  I suppose I shouldn't gripe about the weather when it's gorgeous here 87.5% of the time, but I'm still not happy that the meteorologist on the local tv station said we've got another six or seven days of this on top the week that we've already had.

We've cleared the last couple of hurdles that I was concerned about for the pregnancy.  We had our genetic counseling appointment, which revealed that I am at no greater risk of having a child with certain conditions that the general population.  Yay, average-ness!  The accompanying ultrasound was equally uneventful, as the doctor saw the things that he wanted to see.  Spine looked good, the baby was measuring correctly for that point in the pregnancy, etc.  It was strange watching Baby move around so much inside my tummy and not feeling a thing.  How could Baby be in there doing somersaults and I not sense any sort of movement?  Zac was delighted throughout the ultrasound.  I think it was the first time that the image actually looked like a "baby" to him and the flurry of fetal activity was reassuring that things are going well.

I had another ultrasound a couple of weeks later.  This would be the ultrasound that a normal woman who conceived her baby in a normal way would have normally at this time in her pregnancy.  I am abnormal (I'm spectacular!) in terms of my age and I certainly didn't conceive this kiddo in the normal way, so I've had more than my share of ultrasounds.  But each ultrasound was for a different purpose so once again I found myself at the hospital.  Only this time I had consumed 32oz. of liquid one hour before the procedure to aid in . . . something.  A bit uncomfortable, but not as bad as I had thought it was going to be.  My parents were in town for this appointment, so they came along to get a look at the new grandchild I am incubating.  Once again Baby was measuring as Baby should.  The organs looked like they were coming along well.  Kid was still moving all around, but with a little less real estate than a couple weeks prior.  It was fun being able to share that appointment with my parents.  They were able to be with my sister throughout her pregnancies and spend lots of time with her two boys.  I want them to have as much time with this grandchild as possible, even if that's while the kiddo is in utero.

I've officially started wearing maternity pants.  That makes me feel mildly ridiculous.  I keep catching glimpses of my changing body in the mirror and thinking, "Isn't it nice that my reflection is pregnant?"  I still feel disconnected from the goings on.  Maybe when I start feeling something from within that I can clearly identify as baby-generated.  Right now it still feels like I'm watching tv at the ultrasound appointments and the belly is just a Hollywood prosthetic designed to make my character look pregnant.  I wasn't sure how Zac would feel or react to my changing shape, but happily he seems more than charmed.  He rubs my belly and smiles while we watch tv.  He giggles when I'm drying off after a shower and studying myself in the mirror.  He randomly reaches out and pats the bump while we're running errands.  You think you love someone, then they do things that make you love them more.  It's a delight to go through this with him, and I can't wait to be parents together.