Zac and I use Skype to communicate. Skype has a couple of different functions to do that. The two main ones he and I use are the phone function and the chatting/instant messaging one. Frequently we'll just drop each other a quick note to let the other one know what's going on. "Going out to dinner with Megan and Paul. Be back by 8:00." or "Are you around tonight?" That sort of thing. There are a ton of fun emoticons that are animated (a much larger selection than choogle) and you can toss those in for added entertainment.
About 5 out of 7 nights each week, around 9:00pm, Zac and I talk via Skype. My computer dials his, or his dials mine, the microphones kick in, and we talk for about an hour. That's not uncommon for us, duration or frequency. 75% of my relationship with Zac, tracing back to our first long-distance dating, has been via phone. We don't do 10 minute phone conversations. I'd guess our average phone calls were about an hour. I remember early on we talked for almost three hours one night. (My father was astounded at the number of minutes I was using, but they were all late at night so no harm, no foul.) It gives me a great amount of confidence that we'll always have stuff to talk about, since we're able to routinely manufacture hour-long phone calls out of only, "How was your day?"
Usually while we're talking we'll exchange a few instant messages to each other. We'll make jokes, make inappropriate comments about what we'll do to the other person when we're finally in the same zip code again, use the emoticons to reinforce what we're saying, that sort of thing. The usual routine is we say goodnight, that we love each other, and then hang up. Then we send an instant message saying the same thing. "Good night. Love you!" Then we retire to our respective lives again. 13 months. The same thing. Almost every night.
Some nights though, when there's a particularly tough subject that we just couldn't find a way to talk about, we continue the conversation after we get off the phone, exclusively by messaging. If there was something I couldn't say directly to him, I'll type it. He does the same with me. For some reason sometimes we're better able to 'talk' about big issues by IMing about them. Maybe it's because you have a moment to react and digest to what the other person said before needing to respond. You know that phrase, "Think before you speak"? Well, most people don't. Sometimes typing gives you that extra nano-second to think-then-speak.
Like tonight. I couldn't bring myself to say to Zac that I'm terrified that I'm going to disappear. That in a few short years I'm not going to be Kate anymore, I'm just going to be another non-descript, generic, cookie-cutter Navy wifey/mother. I was able to unload some of the worries that have been accumulating and was able to communicate them to Zac, which I wasn't able to do "in person". The IMing really is invaluable for me in that respect. And it's comforting to know that Zac hears me, that he puts some thought into a response, and isn't just nodding to placate me.
I found out Zac's brother and sister-in-law are expecting their second child in March tonight. Zac's brother, Chris, called him to let him know. I'm very happy for them, and I'm sure that Collin will be an excellent older brother. Hopefully when we get to Nebraska everyone will be paying attention grandson Collin and Sara's pregnancy. I don't want to be asked, "So when are you having kids?" 15 times. I know that Zac has my back on that one though. He's firmly in the "It's none of anyone's business but our own" camp, and he's not afraid to tell people exactly that. I like that about him.
I'm tired, but not sleepy. But perhaps I should go to bed, in case I do ever decide to drift off. Too much on my mind tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment